Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
