Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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