Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
