if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
