Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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