I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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