i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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