No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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