I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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