Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
