Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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