2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
