we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
