It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
