we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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