I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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