She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
