im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
