The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There are leaves in my underwear?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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