I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize