I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
