My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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