remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
