i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
