So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
