what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
