What did we do last night that was yellow?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
