Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
