It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
