this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
