i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You need a sexual gate keeper
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
