Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
