so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
