You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
