But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How's work?
Spinning.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
