does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
