Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize