I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
