I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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