They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize