Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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