Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
