How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
