i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
