We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
where does the pee come out of this thing
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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