addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
