Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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