today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
