it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize