one two three fourrrrnication!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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