I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is it penis luge time yet?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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