in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
