...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
