Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
