He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
