People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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