After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We have started to decorate penises.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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