Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
