he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
