how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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