lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
