i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
